WATER/CHAOS

This is not an established philosophy; this is my experience at this moment in my life.

 And this is a story about desert seasons.

 When you are in the desert:

1. You don’t see where the great, dry expanse ends and life begins again.
2. You don’t feel you have access to enough to sustain you.
3. You feel you have to take it day by day to be able to hold onto hope.
4. Your resolve rises and falls in the same way your pathway climbs steep and winds down low before you.

 In the scriptures there is this link between the desert and the number 40. The Israelites spent 40 years in the desert; Yeshua (Jesus) spent 40 days in the desert. This pattern is repeated like a tapestry throughout the story.

 One of the earliest forms of writing was in the form of pictographs. A pictograph is a pictorial symbol for a word or a phrase. Often, the pictograph would also be linked to a number. In Hebrew, the letter MEM is linked to the number 40 and its pictograph looks like the following:

This pictograph (and therefore the letter mem and the number 40) symbolise WATER or CHAOS.

The intriguing thing is, as I have already pointed out, in the ancient scriptures, deserts are linked to the number 40. And number 40 is linked to the letter mem, symbolising water. Why is this?

 Bear with me.

 I am going to make a long story short right now.

Yeshua (Jesus) was tempted in the desert 40 days by the devil (don’t be offended by the word devil. If you want, understand it as evil; or the root of deception; the opposite of the force of love). There were 3 things the devil (evil; force to remove love) wanted from Yeshua:

1. To command stones to become bread so he could eat.
2. To throw himself down from a height to see if God will send angels to catch him.
3. To worship the devil (to choose evil and selfish ambition) in exchange for being able to control all the kingdoms in the world.

 What is the essence of what the devil was trying to say here? “If you’re hungry, make your own bread! If you’re feeling disenfranchised by God, test His limits to see if you will get your own way! If you don’t have what you want, do an exchange and you can get it!”

 In other words, “You are suffering in the desert, you can’t see the end from the beginning, you don’t have enough to sustain you, you are holding on with all you have to your last little bit of hope so TAKE MATTERS INTO YOUR OWN HANDS.”

 But Yeshua refused to do this, why?

 Well this is how I see it right now. I think He knew that history is the story of mankind taking matters into their own hands in order to avoid dealing with the repercussions of the desert season. Mankind took matters into their own hands because it was easier to do that, then to trust God in the desert season. The problem with this is that it foiled the plan. It foiled the Creator’s plan.

 Are you in your desert season? Does it feel like it has been 40 days, 40 months…40 years…of waiting, not seeing, not understanding, not feeling fulfilled, not feeling whole, confused by the ups and downs, confused by your never-ending perception of the landscape?

 Well, I am there. I’ve been there. Are you there?

 Do you remember this?

Mem

40

Water or Chaos

 History reveals a pattern of mankind in the desert, choosing to take matters into their own hands and the end point being chaos. Selfishness, pride, greed, pain, betrayal. Fear. The opposite of love. Melting slowly into chaos. Call it organised chaos if you like, but chaos nonetheless.

 There is another option. To want to take the path less travelled by. To want to believe that there is water in this desert picture. And that the journey is not so much about reaching the end point of the vast expanse of ‘not understanding’, but rather seeking the water that comes along, hand in hand, with the season. The water that so few in the past have dug for.

 One more thing, why the water? What is water?

1. 60% of your body is made up of water, mostly held in the cells of the body.
2. Water is a polar compound known as the “universal solvent” for its ability to dissolve many substances.
3. Water flows and moves; it is not static.
4. A human can only live 3 to 5 days without water.

 Could this mean:

1. You will know where to find the water in the desert as easy as you know your body, its likeness is already held within you.
2. The water is the antidote to the chaos, it dissolves the components of your inner chaos (resulting in less outer chaos).
3. Water is not made to remain in one place forever: put your hope in that.
4. Water is life.

 So.

May we embrace the discomfort of the desert season.

May we seek the water in faith instead of relying on ourselves in fear.

May we take the journey of water instead of the course of chaos.

 And, one day, may we say: Deep calls out to deep at the sound of Your waterfalls;  All Your waves and breakers have passed over me.

(psalm 42 v 7).

 

[Image sourced here]

John 4 v 7 – 13

When a Samaritan woman came to draw water, Jesus said to her, “Will you give me a drink?” (His disciples had gone into the town to buy food.)

The Samaritan woman said to him, “You are a Jew and I am a Samaritan woman. How can you ask me for a drink?” (For Jews do not associate with Samaritans.)

Jesus answered her, “If you knew the gift of God and who it is that asks you for a drink, you would have asked him and he would have given you living water.”

“Sir,” the woman said, “you have nothing to draw with and the well is deep. Where can you get this living water? Are you greater than our father Jacob, who gave us the well and drank from it himself, as did also his sons and his livestock?”

Jesus answered, “Everyone who drinks this water will be thirsty again, but whoever drinks the water I give them will never thirst. Indeed, the water I give them will become in them a spring of water welling up to eternal life.”

 Psalm 42 v 2

My soul thirsts for God, for the living God.
When shall I come and appear before God?

 Psalm 23 v 2-3

He makes me to lie down in green pastures;
He leads me beside the still waters; He restores my soul.

 Isaiah 43 v 2 – 3

“Do not fear, for I have redeemed you;
I have summoned you by name; you are mine.
When you pass through the waters,
I will be with you;
and when you pass through the rivers,
they will not sweep over you.
When you walk through the fire,
you will not be burned;
the flames will not set you ablaze.
 For I am the Lord your God,
 the Holy One of Israel, your Savior. 

 

ROCK HEART

For months now, a certain verse has repeatedly come across my path:

Psalm 73 v 26, “My flesh and my heart may fail, but God is the strength of my heart and my portion forever.”

The original Hebrew for the word that has been translated into ‘strength’ is ‘rock’.

So the verse reads like this, “…but God is the ROCK of my heart and my portion forever.’

I think that this is beautiful imagery, God is the ROCK of my heart…but what exactly does this mean?

In order to try to answer this question I need to explain a bit of my story. I grew up going to church every Sunday and having my mom pray with me and read me bible stories. God was a part of my life from the beginning. God wasn’t a foreign concept to me.

When I reached my teenage years, long story short, I made more of a commitment in my heart to pursue this God, I started to read my bible more and I went to youth group. By the time I reached the end of high school and when my university years began, I felt like there was less and less place for God in my life, more often then not it felt like He was getting in the way of me having fun and doing what I want to do.

So I turned my back on God and walked 180 degrees in the opposite direction.

Still, there were times when I acknowledged His existence. Emergency times, mostly. Like exam time. Or the time a man was walking towards me to mug me and I cried out ‘Jesus’ and he turned and sprinted away from me. Or when I broke up with a boyfriend and felt broken inside. Or when I was drunk and fearing for my life. During times like these, I called out to Him, I asked for help.

And so it went for many years, when life went well I was happy to not think about God and when life was difficult I cried out to Him to make things go back to being good and easy.

You see, God had become a plaster that I used every now and then to bandage a wounded situation. When I felt better that plaster could not get into the bin fast enough.

In the last two years I have realised that I cannot deal with God on my own terms. I have had to learn that in order to know God, God has to become the ROCK of my heart, and not my occasional plaster. I have had to stop running after every whim and fancy of my heart; I have had to make some sacrifices and give up some things in order to ‘create the space’ for God to begin to form solidly in my heart.

Is it easy? Not always.

Is it worth it? Absolutely with absolutely no doubt at all.

Is it a journey? Yes.

Why should I desire for God to be the Rock (strength) of my heart? Because then the strongest and most solid thing about you is the partnership you have with the creator of the universe and the creator of YOU. If God is the Rock of your heart you are enabled to walk out your true purpose and destiny on earth in your full potential, fearless and unhindered. 

If you feel without purpose or uninspired or like something keeps holding you back from what you want to do in life, I want to suggest that you take a look at your heart situation.

Have we made up our own ideas about who God is?

Is our relationship with Him on our own terms or on His? 

What if there is more to knowing Him then we have allowed ourselves to believe?

Terrorism and Turbulence

I woke up this morning to news that there had been a mass shooting in America, another violent attack in what seems to have become a wave of terrorism and death internationally. Recent incidents have occurred in Paris, Lebanon, Mali and now America…more incidents have occurred and not gained widespread media attention. It seems like a storm is brewing in the world.

It’s like we’re on an aeroplane, and the seatbelt signs have lit up and the plane is starting to experience turbulence. Here is a trusty Wikipedia definition of turbulence: In fluid dynamics, turbulence or turbulent flow is a flow regime characterized by chaotic property changes.

Is the world heading into a season of chaotic property changes?

The other day I was thinking about recent terrorist attacks and about incidents more close to home, someone I knew had been shot and killed. I felt heart sore and unsettled.

A friend messaged me to go and read in the book of John, chapter 10. I had read these verses so many times in the past, but the message sank in deep on that day.

In it Yeshua (Jesus’ Hebrew name) speaks about a narrative that is not new to mankind: good versus evil. He uses the analogy of a shepherd and his sheep.

He says this of the source of evil, “The thief does not come except to steal, to slaughter and to destroy.” (Verse 10).

I thought these are good words to describe these terrorist attacks, people’s lives have been stolen – people who, like us, had destinies and purposes and were on this earth for good reason, their lives were stolen, they were slaughtered. How terrible.

What happens if more terrorist incidents occur? What happens if they occur in South Africa, in Cape Town? What happens if war breaks out in the world as a result of them? With weapons of mass destruction on hand and a clamour of hatred and violence, is there any hope for humanity?

Well, as a matter of fact, there is.

Right after the verse about the destroying thief, Yeshua (Jesus) says this of Himself, “I have come that they might have life, and that they might have it beyond measure.”

He offers life beyond measure, without bounds, without limits. Can my human brain fully comprehend this? Well, no. But I believe it.

So here is the narrative: there is a source of evil, the ‘bad guy’, the thief. His intention towards humanity (the sheep) is to slaughter them, to steal from them, and to destroy them.

And there is the ‘good guy’, Yeshua (Jesus). And His intention is to give humanity a life beyond the known and measurable bounds and limits of human life.

In this turbulence before the storm, Yeshua (Jesus) is offering us a door of hope, an opening of hope – a petach tikvah – to escape the darkness and destruction and to live with hearts at peace, no matter what is going on around us. He says in verse 9: “I am the door. Whoever enters through Me will be saved, and will go in and will go out and find pasture.”

The key that opened this door and this hope for us, is simply God’s love for us.

Would you be afraid of the turbulence, if the creator of the skies held your soul in His hand?

 

“I am the good shepherd. The good shepherd lays down His life for the sheep.” (Verse 11).

 

[Images sourced from here, here and here].

Knowing GOD?

So I’ve been asking God lately to help me to know Him, truly know Him.

Not just know of Him based on what other people have told me. Not just know Him according to what I’ve heard in church growing up or what biblical theology or interpretation I have been exposed to. I don’t want to know Him based on my own opinion or personal belief of who He is. I want to know Him fully, for who He is in TRUTH.

So I made this request to God, that I really want to know Him.

And since then I have come across some scriptures that talk about what it means to really know God. And let me tell you, it’s not exactly what I thought it would be.

The first one I came across was in the book of Jeremiah, verse 15:

     “He defended the cause of the poor and needy, and so all went well. Is that not what it means to know me?” declares the LORD.

• So looking out for the poor and the needy is one way of knowing God.

A few days later I remembered this from the book of 1 John, chapter 4 verse 8:

     Whoever does not love does not know God, because God is love.

• So loving others is one way of knowing God.

I like two things about this:

1. I like that prerequisites to knowing God are not about being perfect or being in a church with a steeple every Sunday. Defending the cause of the poor and needy and loving others are practical, daily life things.
2. I like that these two aspects of knowing God reveal the character and nature of God, what He cares about and what His heart is inclined towards: He is love. He is concerned about the poor, the needy, the oppressed…the confused, the frustrated, the depressed.

He wants us humans to love each other. This is how we can start to get to know Him. 

May we learn to love with all our hearts.